Thursday was a long and emotional day for us. Thursday morning we were taken by a driver for one last shopping trip in the same district we had been to briefly before, so the group had time to finish up finding any special treasures they wanted to take home. Then out to lunch one last time, where Alison had to resist shouting, “WOULD YOU ALL JUST FINISH EATING SO WE CAN GO SEE OUR KIDS???”
Once we arrived they brought the boys over for our last visit. Both the boys entered the gate, saw us and smiled and came right over. We had our best visit with them that afternoon…they were friendly and affectionate, which made the fact it was our last visit all the more difficult to comprehend. Scott and I were able to take the boys and visit with the social worker who is familiar with them. She told us her insights of the boys and assured us she would continue to explain to them that we had to go home, and then we would be back to see them again and take them home with us.
She had Scott lift up Gezahegn and point out California on a big map of the USA to show where he would live. Scott did, and a few minutes later Gezahegn was able to go back to the map and show us where he would be living some day. After the meeting we just played with the boys as long as we could. Scott pointed out an airplane flying overhead to Gezahegn and gestured to him that both Gezahegn and Daddy would fly on a plane to go home, to which G. broke into a big grin.
The nannies and guides will ask the kids thoughout the week while we are there visiting (in Amheric), “Who is your mommy and daddy?”, and it was fun to see G. and Y. point to us and smile. Yishak is a snuggler…he would walk around a bit and then come to me and hold his arms open wide to be picked up. We spent a lot of time just snuggling and walking around. Today Gezahegn wanted to share his fruit snacks with us…he took one out of the package and handed it to me and said, “Mommy”..and gestured to my mouth. Then he looked around for Scott, grabbed my hand and we walked over to Scott. G. waited impatiently for Scott to finish playing with Yishak (he was holding him up high to see over the fence), and then happily said, “Daddy!” and plunked the snack into Scott’s mouth with a smile.
We played until 4:30 when the time came to prepare to leave. We had the guide explain to Gezahegn that today we wanted to leave the goodies and toys we had been playing with during the week with him, and tell him we would bring him back some more things when we returned. He nodded yes and smiled, which made us feel like he understood what was going on, at least in a small way. The first two days when we left and wanted to pack up the toys he would grow sullen and walk away, but by day three he understood that the things he put in the backpack came back safely the next day (as opposed to if we left them, where the guide tells us any special goodies like that would last 1-3 days before it was taken away, lost or broken). So, each of the ensuing days he would not keep anything… not even the water bottles we brought for him! He would shake his head no, and place everything back into the backpack.
This afternoon we gave him all his “loot” in a bag to carry and we all walked down to his transition home. We went to his and Yishak’s bed (G. told us that he and Y. share a bed…how cute is that?) and had him tape a picture of all of us there (we had a picture printed out at a local shop). So many little things remind us of how fortunate we are in the U.S. – when we asked for a piece of tape a nanny returned with medical tape, which of course worked, but just served to remind me that she could not go over to her “office supply box”, like the one I keep in my closet, and fetch Scotch tape, staples, post-it notes, etc.
We then headed outside to give hugs and say goodbye. I am not sure I can adequately describe that moment, because unless you have been through it you cannot understand the total breaking of your heart, and what it feels like to know that you are now leaving your sons in this transition home and in this country, away from the love and care and all things that you can’t wait to give him. We hugged and hugged, and kissed the boys, and when the translator told G. that it was time for us to go, but we would return, he walked back to us and kissed us each on the cheek.
I hoisted Yishak up over my head one last time, tickling him and playing with him until he giggled and squealed with glee, and then handed him back to the nanny and walked out of the compound to go sob my heart out outside. Scott remained a minute or two longer, hugging G. and loving on him., and seeing a tear slide down Gezahegn’s cheek. A nanny gave him a Kleenex and walked away with him, with Scott waving and blowing kisses to him. He turned and waved and blew a kiss back, and they both walked away.
We all climbed in the van to leave, with all of us doing our best at putting on our “brave” faces and trying to smile. One of the older girls Victoria had enjoyed playing with came up to the van door and looked in at Victoria to say goodbye. She saw that Victoria was crying and she spoke with our guide and asked him to tell Victoria, “Please don’t cry!”.
This, of course, made me cry even harder…here is a sweet, lovely older girl who is an orphan and living in a difficult environment, and she was trying to encourage us and cheer us up. I wanted to scream, “No! No – it is NOT going to be okay! You shouldn’t be living here! You should have parents and be taken care of!”, which of course I could not say, so we tried to smile and wave and give a thumb’s up as we drove away. All four of us sat in silence, crying and taking in all the sights as we drove from the transition home for the last time, leaving parts of our hearts there as well.
Once back at the Yebsabi (our guest house), Scott began packing while our guide walked with Victoria, Savannah and I down the street to a local beauty salon. One of the girl’s things on their Ethiopia “wish list” was to have their hair cornrowed. They have enjoyed helping braid and cornrow our friend’s Ethiopian hair, and they thought it would be fun to have their own done.
Our guide told us once we arrived that it would not be proper for him to come inside the salon (that would have been nice to know before we arrived!), but he briefly explained what we wanted and how much it would cost (I didn’t want to pay one million birr because I am lame!), and then he left. That was an awkward moment…all the Ethiopian beauticians looking at us, the three of us looking at them.
So…thus began our funny Ethiopian hair adventure. I am pretty sure we were the freak show for the next hour and a half, but they washed and conditioned our hair, brushed it out (Savannah swears she lost at least 1/8th of her hair from the brushing out process!), and then began asking what style we wanted. Almost all of their pictures in the salon involved hair extensions, which they were surprised we did not want.
We communicated that Savannah and I only wanted a few braids in the front and the rest left undone, while Victoria wanted all her hair braided. They finished up our hair within an hour, with Savannah and I getting some tight curls with a curling iron in our unbraided hair while they finished up Victoria’s hair. We will have to tell you all the funnies of this process later…the ladies feeling our hair and snickering, the large scrunchies they tried to use to keep our hair up while they braided that would just fall out on the floor, etc. etc. The whole thing was funny.
We sprinted back to the hotel when they were done, finished packing, and the van picked us up at 9:30 p.m. to head to the airport. We drove one last time through town, past SO many taxis, hordes of people everywhere, and all the sights and sounds of Ethiopia. We were so tired and emotionally drained by this time that the process of getting through the airport was so taxing and tiresome I did not think we would make it. We finally boarded our plane and put our ear plugs in and sleeping masks on, and promised one another that life would be better tomorrow.
When we landed in London we all had two priorities: bathroom and coffee! The first bathroom (sorry…”toilet” here in England) was found and we all giggled with glee at the sight of toilet paper, clean running water, soap, and hand dryers! Joy, joy, joy!
Next we went through customs, more lines, etc. and finally saw Robynne’s smiling face in the crowd. She took us right to a coffee shop in the airport (ahhhh! Coffee, chocolate and whip cream!) , and then we made our way to her van and drove about three hours to her lovely home in the countryside. It is unbelievable to me that a mere eight hour flight from Ethiopia and now we are in lovely, green countryside, flowers and trees are all around.
The Feavearyear’s took us to their favorite picnic spot…we walked on public footpaths, through picturesque pastures and along a winding river, and to a lovely grassy spot to set blankets down and eat. They treated us to yummy (and safe!) English foods to eat, and we watched the kids play while we chatted. It was wonderful to rest and relax, although my heart and mind alternate between enjoying the moment and feeling so torn and sad about not being with my kids.
A third of my heart is in the U.S. with my younger girls, a third of my heart is in Ethiopia with my boys, and a third of my heart is here in the U.K. with Scott, the older girls and our friends. It will be a blessing when all parts are joined together again.
